Disillusionment

Personal. December 2017

Much of my life has been spent saying the same things over and over to no effect. This is a kind of cut up poem (after William Burroughs) which shows the evolution of some of those things, in an attempt to explain, and to make those futile years into something creative, which I have really struggled to do. I am writing them down in the hope that I never have to say or do any of them again.

Disillusionment

No
Stop it

I have been assaulted by my dad
Nobody is listening
I am not working with that police force
Could I speak to my brother?
This is a dictatorship
I am worried about my finances

I have been raped
I am concerned about my personal safety
Could I speak to my brother?
I am unable to get a job
I am feeling physically unwell
The local authorities are corrupt

I’m not getting through to the people I have dialled
Could you stop stalking me?
I’d like to complain about aircraft noise?
My laptop has been hacked
I am scared
Could I speak to my brother?

I would like an advocate or go between
I don’t speak in numbers
I have withdrawn the rape allegation
I was preparing to move abroad but it fell through
Could I speak to my brother?
Could you use my personal accounts instead of my blog?

Block
Mute
Report

My laptop / phone / bank account / websites / social media are being / have been hacked
I am being framed
Could I speak to my brother?
I have malware on my laptop
Could you stop telling me that your products / services don’t get hacked?
Could you stop flying over the house?

I have lost thousands of pounds
My flat is bugged
I am a doxing victim
I have lost all my family
Could you stop the noise?
Could I speak to my brother?

Exhaustion | Breakdown | Silence

§

In memory of my mum – the tragic casualty of hacking in 2009

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