From 2000 – 2009, while my mother was terminally ill, I tried to clarify if I could help the police and to report several crimes including this underage assault, firstly via a solicitor who did not have my best interests at heart, then via my brother who would not take my calls, and finally via a friend acting as a go between with the police. Shortly before my mother passed away in 2009, my go-between’s Facebook messages were hacked. The net result of all this was that nothing was resolved while my mother was alive and a ton of evidence, involving several separate cases, went unreported. Following my mother’s death, there was little incentive for me to become further involved with these cases, most of which should have come to light long ago, and in 2012 I created an outdoor site to remember my mum amidst the devastation.
Anyway ten years on, I am gradually still reporting some of the things I was prevented from reporting when my mother was alive, as I feel able, including the underage rape. Although I have had absolutely no feedback from Northumbria Police on most of these reports, the year ended on a real low as I received the predictable news that the underage rape has not been crimed by Northumbria, meaning that not one prosecution has resulted from any of the reports I have made to this force since I was 12 years old (including two assaults and two rapes).
It seems to follow the same format each time I report anything from when I was a child. Northumbria Police firstly pathologizes me, then isolates me from my main witnesses or corroborators, sometimes for years, and seems to harvest them for information about me. In the meantime the accused says any old rubbish and the case is dropped. I have been through this routine before and am beginning to feel as if there is a formula at work.
As I have said to the investigating officer, depriving abuse survivors of contact with anyone who might support their allegation is a barbaric practice, which results in much unnecessary suffering for victims who don’t understand why they can’t speak to their closest family or friends, and that in turn results in failure to report other crimes. My own experiences (detailed in older posts) are testimony to this.
I have begun to feel that it is just not worth the hurt and upset to keep making allegations where everybody lies, meaning they are not progressed or “lost”, so it is very unlikely that I will report any further cases to this force, or to organisations who claim to “advance” the position of women. I cannot be held responsible for any cases arising from the ignoring and silencing of my evidence over the years.
I try to remain positive by kidding myself that people read these news posts, and that they are accessible to all, as this is a paid for website.
I hope to be able to write about something more cheerful next time.